


Somewhere in the Middle

by icecreamchick45



Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians & Related Fandoms - All Media Types, Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan, The Heroes of Olympus - Rick Riordan, The Trials of Apollo - Rick Riordan
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon Compliant, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Families of Choice, Gen, Humor, Internalized Homophobia, It's in the past though, Multi, Not Beta Read, Talk of Hogwarts houses, Talk that needed to happen in canon, The Burning Maze (Trials of Apollo) Spoilers, The Trials of Apollo Spoilers, Wakes & Funerals, Weird talk on godly parents and relationships that brings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-17
Updated: 2019-05-17
Packaged: 2020-03-06 16:00:47
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,863
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18854353
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/icecreamchick45/pseuds/icecreamchick45
Summary: A long overdue conversation, between two people that could really need to talk.





	Somewhere in the Middle

**Author's Note:**

> This is just a gen fic about the complex relationship that Percy and Nico have had. Their friendship is something that I love so much, even if I despise them as a ship. I felt like in canon a lot of things happened that needed to be explained and never were. As Percy mentions, they needed to have this conversation.

It happened at Jason’s funeral. 

In hindsight, this seems both the wrong place and the wrong time to be having a conversation about their incredibly complex relationship. In Percy’s opinion, it also felt like a conversation that probably should have happened last summer. 

In the end, it was Annabeth who pushed him to have the conversation after they saw Nico sitting off to the side during the reception.

“I think that you should go over and make sure Nico’s okay.”

“I think I might be the last person he would want to talk to right now… maybe Apollo, but it’s close.”

Annabeth sighed, “I think you underestimate both your ability to make people feel better and how significant you have been in Nico’s life.”

“That second part is why he would not want me to try and comfort him. I was the one who broke the news that his sister died. I doubt he wants more reminders of how much death has followed since he met me.”

Annabeth placed a hand on his shoulder, “Hey, there was nothing you could do to stop Bianca dying, and even less, you could do to stop Jason dying.”

Percy shrugged, and Annabeth’s hand fell, “I guess.”

“Just go talk to him. Please, for me. I’m going to comfort Thalia, and I feel like it should just be me.” 

“Alright, but I don’t think it will do any good.” 

“Haven’t you learned not to doubt me yet?” She gave him a soft smile and a kiss on the cheek before walking over to where Thalia and a couple of hunters were. 

Thalia had lost her brother twice. She gained a sister in Annabeth, although the way Annabeth regarded Luke and Thalia, Percy wondered if Thalia was sometimes closer to a mother figure to Annabeth. 

Percy wondered if Annabeth ever had conversations with Jason about the fact that they were both practically raised by Thalia for a couple of years each. Percy supposes that it was too late to ask now.  
On that incredibly grim note, Percy goes over to sit with Nico. 

Nico is sitting on the steps that lead into the dining hall at Camp Jupiter. Percy supposes, as short time Praetor, he should probably know what all the fancy names all the different areas of the Roman camp were called, but honestly, he didn’t have the energy. Especially today. 

The decision to burn the body at Camp Jupiter made the most sense logically, he guessed. This is where Jason spent most of his life after Lupa and the wolf house. Although, with that logic, the wolf house made more sense. That’s where his journey started, shouldn’t that be where his journey ended. Also, in the end, Jason had also chosen Camp Half-Blood over Camp Jupiter, wanting to spend life with the Greeks in a Greek-style camp, with Piper, Leo, and the family he was making after the danger seemed over. Would that have been what Jason wanted? 

Percy guesses it was too late to find out now. 

He doesn’t say anything as he sits down next to Nico. For a while, neither of them say anything. Finally, it was Nico who broke the silence. 

“I was fine sitting alone.”

Percy snorted, “I figured by the way Will wasn’t all over you and making sure you were okay. But, I also told Annabeth I would make sure you were okay, so…”

“I’m fine; I appreciate Annabeth’s concerns. But, like I told Will, I just want to be alone right now.”

“I also care, I just figured I would be the last person you wanted to see right now, except maybe Apollo.”

Nico was quite for a moment before saying, “I would rather have you here over Apollo.”

“Gee, thanks.”

They both went quite again. It was an odd dynamic they had. Percy had once been Nico’s idol. Then, he became his villain. Now, he wasn’t sure where they were at: somewhere different. They hadn’t bothered to try and test that balance since the Giant War ended. Over the summer, things had been overwhelmingly happy in a way Percy hadn’t known since he was 13 and coming home from the Sea of Monsters. It was a time where it looked like the giant prophecies and quests to save the world were, at least for now, over.

Guess, he shouldn’t have gotten his hopes up. 

“I haven’t tried to see him.”

That surprised Percy. “Really?”

“Yeah.”

Curiosity overwhelmed Percy, “Why not? If you’d wanna share.”

Nico took a deep breath in. Percy felt a little bad for asking. 

“When Bianca died, and I found out I was literally a child of the underworld, I figured there was nothing stopping me from getting her back; I just had to find a way. Then the labyrinth and Minos happened, and I saw that that’s not how the rules worked. Life happens, and death happens, but messing with that balance would create an unbalance that wasn’t allowed to happen.

I also saw that Bianca was done with me. She didn’t want to come back to me.”

Percy disagreed heavily and as lightly as he could say: “You realize that wasn’t what she was doing. She never wanted just to get rid of you, and she especially wasn’t just ‘done’ with you.”

Nico sighed and gave a sad smile, “One trama at a time, please.” 

Percy gestured for Nico to continue, very intent on coming back to Bianca.

“So, even when I went back to get her when the Doors of Death were opened, I don’t think she would have come back with me anyway. And I got Hazel out of that, who I wouldn’t trade for anything, so no hard feelings.”

“You’re worried Jason wouldn’t want to see you.”

“...No,” Nico said unconvincingly. “I just saw that trying to confront the dead is an unrewarding and heartbreaking journey. In terms of Greek myths, which I find appropriate for our lives, my life is a pretty cautionary tale of that.”

Nico was crying a little now, Percy supposes he was too.

“Nico, listen to me, Jason isn’t Bianca, and even if he reacted not wanting to see you, that’s not coming from a place of indifference or cruelty. It’s coming from a place of concern for you and the fear that you wouldn’t be okay once they’re gone.”

“Well, if that the case, I guess their fear was right.”

“Nico-”

“No, Percy, honestly tell me a time since you met me that you would consider me being okay? Was it when I let a ghost manipulate my life and I had lost the only constant in my life? Was it when I spent my life traveling the country in search of answers that were erased from my mind for my own good so I couldn’t remember my own mother beyond half-remembered glimpses years later? Was it when I was in Tartarus? Was it when I got out, only to have any and every insecurity I thought I had grown out of resurfaced? Was it when I desperately pined over you-”

 

Another topic they had yet to really talk about. 

“Nico, even though you’ve gone through so much, most of which I take the blame for-”

“Bull-”

“Let me finish. Even though you’ve gone through so much, you’ve had moments of happiness. I saw you after the Titan War; you were happy to be apart of camp, even if you started taking off for days at a time. You were happy with Hazel. You are happy with Reyna, who has practically adopted you, by the way. You were happy this summer when the war ended, and you got up the courage to go out with Will. You have friends and a new family. Just because trama has happened to you doesn’t mean you haven’t been better than just okay since then.”

“Most of that started with Jason though. Not Hazel and not the short time after the Titan War where people tolerated me.”

“That’s not how it was, and you know it.”

Nico seemed to pretend not to hear Percy. “When you and Annabeth were in Tartarus, we stopped in Dalmatia. We got the scepter that allowed us to raise an army of the dead who would fight in the House of Hades. I thought we would be just be facing a ghost of a dead king, but we ended up facing Eros. He made me face my feelings for you, feelings that I honestly thought I was over. ”

“Nico…”

 

“Jason was the one who helped me realize that my feelings weren't wrong. He told me that everyone back on the ship would accept me, but it was my choice whether I had to come out or not. He’s the one who refused to let me not be his friend and made sure that I knew how much he trusted me. He was the one who made sure that after the Giant War wouldn’t be a repeat of after the Titan War.”

Percy can guess where this train of thought was headed, “You’re worried that because he’s gone, it is going to become a repeat.”

“...I can’t stand the idea that another person who I thought the world of, suddenly becomes disappointed in where and who I am.”

Annabeth was rarely wrong, but this was a time where she clearly was. Percy had only made everything worse.

Too late to back down now. 

“Nico, there is no way that Jason is disappointed in where you are.”

“I know you think that Percy, but-”

“No, I’ve been questioning a lot of things today. Both about what Jason would have thought and what were the conversations that he never got to have. One thing that I can say with certainty is that he loved his friends more than anything and you were one of his best friends. You are up there in terms of Leo and Piper in terms of his best friend.”

“I wouldn’t go that far.”

“Well, I would. That Hufflepuff of a person loved you too much to judge you for how you grieve.”

“...I know that I’m supposed to feel comforted by your certainty that I’m wrong in what Jason would think if I raised him from the grave, but all I’m thinking about is how you thought Harry Potter was the best way to get your point across..”

Percy gave a breathy, weak laugh. “Well, I figured the conversation was getting a little too serious for either of us to stay in a good mindstate.”

Nico hummed, “Well, I also don’t think I’m good enough for the seriously light conversation of what Hogwarts house we’re all in.”

“I’m Slytherin. Annabeth’s either Ravenclaw or Slytherin. Grover is Hufflepuff. Will would be too. I’d say you’d either be Hufflepuff or Slytherin.”

Nico starred in amused bewilderment at Percy.

“Annabeth and I have had many conversations about this. I could probably give a house to every one of our friends at this point.”

Nico’s turn to laugh. “Well, I’m 100 percent sure that I am not in the right headspace to get into a Hogwarts house debate or a debate on which Doctor is the best. So, I need something that somewhere in between mindlessly pointless and one of my closest friends being dead.”

“Okay, then how about the conversation that we’ve been avoiding since you came up to me and announced that I wasn’t your type and just kinda walked away.”

“And suddenly the conversation about Hogwarts houses seems so appealing. I personally peg Annabeth as more Slytherin than Ravenclaw.”

Percy smirked, he thought that too and would love to go over all the points he’s made to Annabeth before. But, they needed to have this conversation. “We can’t put this off forever.”

“How about when we’re in our old age, our string about to be cut, and-” Nico frowned.

He must have just realized the unlikeliness of either of them reaching an age where their cause of death would be natural causes. 

“Fine, although I stand by my opinion that giving a one-liner and leaving is fine in terms of handling this conversation.”

Percy laughed, “Don’t I know it. If wars could be won with quippy one-liners, then both wars could have been won by you alone.”

“I highly disagree.”

Doing his best Nico impression, Percy started: “‘With great power comes great need to take a nap.’”

“In my defense-”

“‘Your death would be great for me.’”

“That-”

“‘Can you surf really well, then?’”

Nico put his hands up, as a mock form of surrender. “Fine, I have had some one-liners. You also never answered that last one.”

“I’ll let you know once I actually try, but your deflection has been noted.”

“Fine, but I’d like to point out that you could have won just as many or even more wars with your own one-liners.”

“So, besides the fact that you apparently want to get into a one-liner off.” Nico rolled his eyes at that. “I realize now that you had a crush on me, but I honestly can’t see why.”

“As much as I want this conversation to be me just inflating your ego-”

 

“That’s not what I meant. I just meant… I’m responsible for so much of what went wrong in your life. I figured you must hate me. I promised that I’d keep Bianca safe and I couldn’t. I was the one who couldn’t keep you from running away after the skeletons attacked us. I was-” 

“Okay, hating this conversation track even more than me just inflating your ego. Percy, not everything bad in my life has been your fault. Just because I made some really awful choices does not mean you’re responsible.”

“It does if I promised Bianca twice that I would look after you, and it does if I was the one who got you guys involved in this whole demigod business.”

In Percy’s mind it made perfect sense, but judging by Nico’s disbelieving look, he guessed the kid didn’t like his rationale that much. Percy tried again. 

“It was my job to protect you. I was older, more experienced, and sometimes knew what I was doing. My job was to be your mentor figure, y’know, helping you figure out camp and being a demigod. Instead, you lost your sister and got emotionally abused and manipulated by a vengeful spirit.”

Nico sighed, “And as I just said, none of my dumb childish decisions are your fault. The reason I liked you was because of how much of a pedestal I used to put you on. You were this amazing hero who swooped in and defended us against the manticore; I was a kid with too much of an interest in mythomagic who just treated you like my new favorite character. You were, and honestly, still are, the hero I hoped to be. How could I not fall for you?”

Percy shrugged, feeling uncomfortable with being praised as some sort of hero. (Oh, the irony). “I always just thought that you hated me.” 

 

Nico looked down at that, “For a while I did, hate and love are emotions where it’s hard to tell the difference with sometimes. During my time in the labyrinth, I hated you, both for what happened with Bianca and why I still had you on that pedestal. I got over most of my hate after that, and I was good. I still loved you after that, but not with the same intensity and as time went on, and we got closer as friends, I honestly thought I would be able to get over you.” 

Nico groaned.   
“But then, you went missing. I saw you at Camp Jupiter, and my first and only thought honestly was just how much Annabeth was going to murder me.”

“...She wouldn’t have murdered you.”

Nico gave him a disbelieving look. “Percy, if I hadn’t fallen into Tartarus, and I was there during the first meeting of the Greeks and the Romans, tell me Annabeth wouldn’t have killed me.”

Percy thought about it for all of three seconds before seeing it. In a universe where Nico had just been there after the quest to Alaska….

“We both would have killed you. I think I could have held Annabeth back a little so that you could speak, but yeah, you’d be dead.” 

With a tone as dry as the Sahara, “Thanks for the encouragement. Truly, an inspiration to all.” 

“Yeah, yeah. But you could have hid behind Hazel, you’d have been fine.” 

“Yeah, well, that didn’t really happen, did it.”

And, the mood went back to somber.

“Yeah, I guess it didn’t.”

“Well, after almost losing my mind. I don’t know, I suddenly felt like that scared little kid who just ran away from Camp Half-Blood again. I had memories of everything that happened before the Giant War and where I was before, but it was as if every insecurity I had back then came into full focus. I never felt comfortable with my sexuality, but it was my biggest secret I had left out of Tartarus and was constantly on my mind. Everything about me as a person seemed to scare everyone aboard the ship, I couldn’t give them another reason to hate me. Even Frank, who was one of the only people at Camp Jupiter who didn’t mind the idea of Pluto, seemed to now have a problem with me. I knew no one beyond Hazel on the ship beyond short interactions with Frank... and Jason. It just seemed to intensify all of my feelings about myself, especially with you and Annabeth in Tartarus. 

I was just so angry again. I loved and hated you more than I had ever felt in the past. The difference between loving someone at eleven verses loving someone at fourteen, I guess. Emotionally, I felt the only way to get past this was to run away again. That was the plan, after delivering the Athena Parthenos I was just going to leave. I didn’t know where, but going back to the way things were before the Giant War just wouldn’t have worked.”

Percy hated hearing about the different ways Nico hated himself because of that awful place. Was this what the gods had in mind when they had relations with mortals? The world just seemed like it something out for him and his friends. 

He wonders what horrendous things they must have all done in a past life to be constantly tortured by the fates.

He put a hand on Nico’s shoulder. The kid still refused to look him in the eyes, as if getting to such a low point in his life was something to be ashamed of. 

“I think I can finish the story from there.”

Nico looked up and gave him a questioning look.

“Well, you obviously realized that Reyna adopted you and therefore you couldn’t leave without pissing her off. You realized that Hazel is such a sweetheart, but is also scary when angry so you couldn’t just abandon her. Will has been into you since he met you when you first came to camp, and you must have realized that.”

 

Nico bushed and threw Percy’s hand off of his shoulder, which was honestly what Percy had intended. 

“H-he did not! Percy-”

Percy grinned. “Well, maybe not in the same way that he is now given you guys were only like 10. But, he definitely seemed drawn to the new dorky boy in who was unclaimed in the Hermes cabin. I really would have introduced you two if I wasn’t so worried about Annabeth at the time.”

“S-shut up. I’m assuming this has a point beyond making me blush about my own boyfriend.” 

Still slightly amused at how easy it was to turn Nico blushing mess, Percy needed to be more serious to make sure Nico knew his worth and how he meant to his friends. 

“My point is that after everything horrible that happened with Tartarus and feeling isolated and insecurities about yourself, you did make it through. Maybe you’re mental health still isn’t 100%, especially considering where we are, but Nico, you aren’t alone. You have Reyna, Hazel, and Will. The entire Apollo cabin has kinda just taken you in. If it’s not too painful, me and Annabeth are also here for you, as well as the rest of the seven. Hades, you got Coach Hedge on your side. That’s something that Annabeth hasn’t even managed.”

Nico gave a small smile at that. He was crying a little, but at least the smile seemed genuine. 

“I know Jason would be saying this if he were here, so would Bianca if she was here. But, since I’m the only one here I’ll say it, Nico di Angelo: you are wanted. You are accepted. And your insecurities are not who you are. I don’t really think that raising Jason’s spirit is a good idea unless you just need to say goodbye, but if the thing holding you back from getting closure is because of fear, then that can’t be the reason. Both Jason and Bianca would be proud of where you are and would just want to make sure that you’d never have to relive any of your tramas.”

Nico does then something that really surprises Percy. He launches into a hug and starts sobbing. Percy supposes that it shouldn’t have been that much of surprise given the intense heart-to-heart, but he was just reminded of how young Nico really is. As Nico sobbed, it made Percy realize that Nico was only 14. 

The same age, Percy was when they met. 

When Nico was done, he wiped his eyes and looked kind of embarrassed. 

“Sorry, about the whole-” Instead of explaining what he was sorry for, he kind of just gestured to himself and Percy in such an awkward fashion that reminded Percy so much of the dorky kid he met in Maine. 

“No problem, man. I told you, I’m here for you. If that means learning how to play mythomagic-”

“Oh, my gods.”

“Or if that means being the shoulder for you to cry on. I’m here to be your friend.”

Nico widened his eyes before saying, “We’ve been a lot of things over the years. I’m pretty sure we’ve never been strictly friends.”

“Well, I guess that's just where we ended up.”

“That's…. Weird.”

Percy laughed a good, loud belly laugh that showed the absurdity of the situation. Out of everything that Nico and Percy have been to each other, (crush, enemies, mentor, hero) they’d never just been friends. 

“I could be the older brother figure if that’s better.”

Nico was laughing too now, “Nope, that’s weird because I used to have a crush on you.”

“Cousin? I mean, we technically are cousins. Our dads are brothers.”

“...That’s somehow worse because if we go by that, then you’d be like Annabeth’s 2nd uncle or something, and I’d be the same for Will.” 

“I’m pretty sure that with the Greek side, we get to choose which relatives count.”

“Still, if I get kissed by Will, in the back of my mind, I never want to think about how I’m technically his uncle.” 

“Some people are into that, y’know”

“... I hate you so much.” 

Percy grinned, for the first time in their relationship, he didn’t believe that. 

“I’m just saying, never when kissing Annabeth have I ever thought about godly lineage. If you want to talk, I told you I’m always available-”

Nico pushed Percy from the step in which they were sitting. They looked at each other and couldn’t stop giggling. That giggling turned into full-on laughs where anytime they looked at each other, the cycle started again. Given the fact that it was Jason’s funeral, Percy was sure that they were being highly inappropriate. At the moment, they just needed to be happy. 

They started to calm down by the time that Will ended up walking over towards them. 

“Do I even want to know what caused you two to start laughing like that?”

 

Percy saw a perfect opportunity to make sure that Nico knew they were friends and any bad blood gone. Also, just to kind of tease the kid. 

“No need to worry about us, WIll. Nico already told me that I wasn’t his type.”

Will looked confused, but Nico just started to groan loudly.

“That’s so not funny, and you are the absolute worst.”

“What?” Percy said with his best job at pretending to look confused. “Are you saying that I am your type?” 

“I know you think that you’re funny. But I have to be the one to say; you aren’t.” 

“I am too funny.”

“Are not.”

“Are too.”

“Are not.”

“Oh, yeah?”

“Yeah.”

Percy took that opportunity to pull Nico into a noogie. It was childish and kind of stupid. But at the moment, that’s exactly the kind of thing both of them needed. Jason was still dead, and more of their friends could still be in danger from Apollo's quest, but at the end of the day, they just needed to be kids for once. 

“Ow, Percy what the hades.”

“Say it, say I’m the funniest guy here.”

“Ew, never.”

“Say it.”

“No.”

“Do it.” 

“Ugh, fine.”

Percy let Nico go, and Nico took the opportunity to jump up and hide behind Will. 

“Coward.”

“Well, I win. So there.”

Will struggled to speak for a second before shaking his head and moving his hand in front of his face to hide a smile.

“I guess the answer to my question was just that you two are actual five-year-olds.”

Nico lightly hit his boyfriend’s arm in protest. “Hey, I’m technically older than all of you so…”

Will held up his hand in a way that said stop. “Nope, we aren’t going there. I never want to be kissing you and start thinking about the fact that you are actually in your eighties.” 

Nico stuck out his tongue in response. 

“You guys are weird. Never have I had these weird head trip thoughts while in the middle of kissing Annabeth.” 

“Why would you start thinking about how old you guys are with Annabeth?”

“Well-”

“Percy, do not!”

“Technically, as Nico pointed out to me today, Nico and I are actually your and Annabeth’s 2nd uncles or something along those lines.”

Will had a look of horror on his face that morphed into just general shell shocked, prompting Nico to groan and say: “Thanks for breaking my boyfriend, really appreciate that.”

Smirking, Percy said, “No problem, anytime.”

“I’m leaving before you can do more damage.”

“Love you too.”

Nico widened his eyes in shock. Crap, maybe that was too far. They only just had that long talk about their feelings. Percy didn’t want Nico to think he was mocking him. He meant it; the kid felt like family. He just was hoped-

Nico’s wide eyes turned into a soft smile and a look of gratitude. 

“Yeah, yeah, love you too.”

As Nico and Will walked away, (more like Nico lightly dragging a still shell shocked Will), Annabeth ended up walking over. 

“Hey.”

She sat down next to him. He put his arm around her and kissed her on the head. She seemed emotionally exhausted.

“Hey.”

“You relatively okay?”

“Yeah, I’m just ready for life to settle down in a way where I don’t have to worry about my friends dying brutally.”

Percy gave a deep sigh. “Something tells me we are unlikely to ever reach that point.”

Annabeth moved herself closer, so that they were cuddling in the middle of Camp Jupiter.

“I just need to hear something good.”

“Well, you were right.”

Annabeth hummed in acknowledgment. “About what?” 

“Nico and I talked. It was emotional and caused us both to cry more than once, but I think that in the end, it left him better than before.”

“So, you guys are good.”

“Yeah, I think we are. For the first time, it feels like we’re just friends. Not enemies or heroes, just friends.” 

“That’s good.”

“Yeah, you even missed the part where we ended up crazy people laughing at Jason’s funeral.”

He could tell she was smiling at this point, so mission accomplished.

“Crazy people laughing?”

“Y’know, the type of laughing where anyone who looks at you while you’re doing it automatically assumes that you’re crazy.”

“Ah, yes, a very well known concept.”

He kissed the top of her head again. “I guess at this point; I should know never to doubt you.”

She giggled before mumbling something along the lines of “well, duh.”

Maybe they were all doomed to die horribly. Maybe Jason was only one on a long list of their friends who were bound to die before they even finished school. Maybe they were all doomed to short, miserable lives. 

But, maybe, just maybe, they’d find a way to make it. Maybe, he would be able to live to an old enough age where he and Nico could have had the conversation in a nursing home when they were old, and monsters were the least of their worries. 

More likely, it was going to be somewhere in the middle.

**Author's Note:**

> I feel like both boys just need some times where they are allowed to be kids. That's kinda where I got the stupid jokes and noogies and dumb stuff towards the end from. I, however, don't think Percy would be one of those people who uses the "not your type" joke more than once or twice as more of a way of mocking the way Nico decided come out. To be honest, in canon, I found the way Nico chose to come out to Percy funny, as long as it was later followed with an actual talk about where they are and who they used to be. In fanon, however, y'all seem to think Percy would make jokes because of him actually caring that Nico said he wasn't his type. Like... no, he wouldn't. I hope you guys liked this, it took forever to write and it's not even that long.


End file.
